But for blancs it always begins at the airport. If it gets really serious it turns into a soulèvement, which can result in personnel change at the palace. Which happens at several different levels of intensity. Kouri is the Kreyol term for running around all over the place, There was something else behind it all too, which perhaps began with the observation that in Kreyol the word for death, deriving from the French la mort, was almost indistinguishable from the Kreyol word for love, also derived from the French, l’amour. And the longer you stayed in Haiti the more you felt that death wasn’t so important anyway, at least not there in Haiti death was only a translation of state. Once you stepped outside the airport you had so many things to do and take care of and pay very close attention to that there was no room to be afraid. Also I now knew that the fear would dissipate soon after arrival. Probably these fears were not so unusual among other blancs- foreigners like me-and maybe even among Haitians (perhaps especially among Haitians). Before my first trip I had photographed myself in a mirror (to use up a roll of fìlm) the print shows the flash exploding at the center of my body, burning the core of me away…. In Haiti I had once been possessed by demons. The inclination to wind up one’s affairs before the flight. Each time, before departure, I calculated the risk, and if it had ever seemed more than negligible I certainly would have stayed home. I even owned mutual funds, for God’s sake. I was as far from being a cowboy as I had ever been. It wasn’t because I wanted to or intended to court the risk. It wasn’t because I wanted to or intended to court the risk.Įvery time I went to Haiti I felt I was going to die there. Every time I went to Haiti I felt I was going to die there.
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